Italy Trip Overview | Clever Humans Album Slideshow

Italy Trip Overview

Here's a picture of my hotel room. It was clean and serviceable. Almost all the necessities were there. The bed, though -- hard as a rock.

After entering the green door in the previous picture, walking through what amounts to someone's giant six car garage, and then up two flights of stairs, you reach the front door of the Hotel.

This is the entrance to my hotel, Hotel Piazza Bellini. Notice the prominent and easily spotted sign. Notice the grafiti.

A view from right outside the hotel, looking toward the Piazza Belini which is on the other side of the street from the cars.

This is looking the opposite direction from the previous picture. A short walk in this direction is the Archeological Museum.

This is a picture of PIazza Bellini itself. Probably from the most flattering possible angle. If all the green leafy things were not in the way, you would see the entrance to the Hotel Piazza Bellini (or at least the giant green door that represents the beginning of your treck to the entrance of the Hotel).

Here is a street market. This was the my first full day in Italy and I made the mistake of waking up around 8am. As you can see, nothing is open yet. We'll come back to this place in a bit.

My first meal in Italy. Octopus with some lemon juice on it. Just about every restaurant had this dish on the menu. This was the one and only time I ordered it. I've had octopus before on sushi. It is much better than this was.

This is Castel Nuovo, the New Castle. Something about it reminds me of Disney. Ok, something about this angle reminds me of Disney. The big white bit in the middle is the Arch di Triumph.

Here is a view across the Bay from the top of Castel Nuovo. Notice Vesuvius on the left.

Another view from Castel Nuovo, across the Bay of Napoli. I can say with certainty that those things we are looking at on the horizon line are Islands.

Here is a sample of the artwork on display in Castel Nuovo. There was no doscent tour at the castle. There was no tours at all. So I was forced to make up my own explanations and historical context for each painting I was looking at. This is of course the famouse painting of Gay Men Staring At Ass. Notice the intensity of the man staring at the ass. Notice the guards on the left having to hold back the throngs of people who are trying to hurt the three gay guys. Notice what the ass model is given to distract him from the fact that a bunch of people are staring at his ass -- he is given a painting of a Madonna and Child -- as if Mary herself is staring out at the ass model and his admirers in approval.

The only picture of me I took!

To get to this giant random fountain I had just walked about two hours. I was very thirsty. You can't tell in the picture, but the water in the fountain was just making me more thirsty.

I Am Here! ....still thirsty.

This is the entrance to Castel du'Ovo -- the castel of the egg. I can't describe how bad it smells right here. ...and I am still thirsty.

Here is a photo along the entrance to the Egg Castle. You may think this is a picture of a nice view of the city of Naples, but really it is..... (next picture)

A view of the most uncomfortable date ever.

Looking back at Naples from the egg castle. Notice the grafiti.

The people of Naples seem to waste no surface area, regardless of how ancient or historically significant, to declare their love to one another. Every part of the city is grafitied in some way or another. This lamppost, however, seemed the most bizarre way of doing this. Each one of the locks around this lamppost has the names of some couple on it.

This was some sort of festival at Piazza Dante (around the corner from my hotel). It seemed like some sort of rennaissance fair. In America Renassance Festivals seem to be more Medieval type festivals. In Italy, hoewver, people seem to truly be dressed as part of the Italian Rennaissance. Not the two guys on the left.

This is the same street market I showed a picture of earlier. There are more people now.

Italy seems to have such a problem with kidnappers and pedophiles being runover by passing motorists that they felt the need to make special Yield signs just to protect those unfortunate monsters.

This painting is displayed in the Archaeological Museum. There was no real explanatory text around this painting, but after much study I am sure this is depicting the popular ancient Greek game of Beating The Homeless, in which young women dance around practically catatonic homeless people and beat them with long sticks. From what I could tell this game is still practiced to this day on some streets of Napoli.

This bust is terrifying. I don't know if the painting on the wall far behind it was deliberately placed. I'd like to think so.

They flew.

Creepy Creepy Muses. Note the eyes.

HUZZZAHHH!!!!

Little Man. Giant Cock.

There were Dead Heads even in ancient greece.

This was just about the only statue in the entire museum that had explanatory text next to it. Of all the works of art in this museum, it was most important to point out, in three different languages, that this woman had a lot of tits! And yes, they really are tits. Really. Lots and lots of boobs. The text went on to explain that they had no clue why she had so many breasts. But really, who cares?

Again, pedophilia and kidnapping, even among the ancient Neopolitans was rampant. This was the ancient Greek version of the Yield sign pictured earlier.

Some shops along a street.

A display of produce hung up on a shop window.

This is how people buy fish. Just sitting outside. On a table. You walk up, grab what you want and pay for it. I am guessing Health Inspectors do not have a very strong presence in this city.

This is the street of Nativity Scenes. Apparently in Italy, a well decorated Nativity Scene in your house is more important than a Christmas tree. This entire street, both sides and the middle, is full of people selling accessories for your doll hou... err... nativity scene.

An empty nativity scene you can buy, empty and ready so you can fill it with your own version of Jesus, Barbie and Ken.

The entrance to Subteranean Naples. Underground catacombs, wells and caves. Was a very claustrophobic tour.

walking down into the underground. Already I started to feel claustrophobic. And this hallway is relatively wide and has a high ceiling!

This narrow hole is where I gave up. Truly so narrow that, turned sideways, my back rubbed one wall and my stomach the wall in front. There was a bolt hole about 5 meters in that I took. Very scary.

These candles are what people had to take with them into the narrow hole from the previous picture. I took this after having bolted out of the narrow area and was waiting for the rest of the tour to return.

Most of the rooms underground were this large. Which I was fine with. Not claustrophobic.

Back outside! Back tot he nativity scenes. It is a crush of people. This is one of the few times I had the breathing room to raise the camera and take a picture.

These little figures are for your nativity scene. What are they? What do they have to do with Christmas? They look like white, evil, masked Smurfs.

CORN!

Another picture of the crush of people buying Nativity swag.

Cars and motorcycles shared these narrow streets with the throngs of people. And they drove as fast as they possibly could and as aggressively as they could. Holding down their horns for people to jump out of the way. I was deliberately bumped by car and truck mirrors about half a dozen times as I walked around. Something you really really need to get used to.

This Pizzeria was absolutely packed! Throngs and throngs of people. I came back a couple days later at an off time to try the pizza. It was good, but not so much better than any other pizza in Napoli. Not sure why the popularity.

A skull on a post outside of the Church of Mary of Purgatory. This was the coolest / creepiest church. As the church goers entered the church, they would rub their hands on the skull and cross themselves. Inside is equally disturbing.

Outside the church of skulls. I'll come back to this church later and take pictures inside.

Goat Fucker!

Dick Head!

I SO know how this guy feels.

Ah, look... wind chimes... in the shape of dicks with wings.

va fa un culo!

Boats in Ischia.

A picture of the Island of Ischia.

Grape vines and fields along the mountain in Ischia.

Lighthouse in Ischia.

Another photo of the light house in Ischia.

It's raining! Run away! Bye bye Ischia! The only Christmas lights I saw the entire trip, by the way.

Ok, back to the church of Mary of Purgatory. Here is a crucifix. Around the sides of the crucifix are body parts -- eyes, tongues, fingers -- all carved out of wood or stone. Very strange.

On the last day of the trip I realized that I had told everyone how filthy and dirty the city was, but then I went out of my way to make sure as little of that as possible was in any of my shots. So on the last day I tried to find some pictures to illustrate what I meant. This one didn;t turn out so well. But the grafiti on the walls of this little park is visible. What isn't is all the trash and litter around the park itself.

a view across the bay.

Looking out over the city of Napoli.

More of the city.

Some apartment houses where people live.

More pictures of grafiti and dirt and... a hammer and sickle.

You see these bundles of clothes like this all over the city. They are places where the homeless sleep at night. Some places you walk past are completely full of these.